Emphatic Listening

Jan. 24, 2008

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters, and honored guests:

I believe everyone in this room can hear. But, is there anyone here willing to admit that he or she can use a reminder on how to listen effectively? I admit I need a reminder.

The toastmasters’ manual teaches us to not only listen carefully with an open mind but also to observe the body languages. In a famous book called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, Mr. Stephen Covey describes a habit called “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” as one of the 7 habits. To achieve this, he advised emphatic listening—put yourself in the speaker’s shoes.

Since people say a picture is worth a thousand words, I wonder if there’s a picture I can use to remind myself of all the ingredients of emphatic listening.

I remember a story I heard when I was a kid. There was a contest in which the contestants were asked to draw a picture of quietness, of serenity. The winner drew a baby bird with her eyes closed, snoozing on a rock under a roaring waterfall.

How can I draw a picture to sum up the ingredients of emphatic listening?
Can this picture serve the purpose? <Gesture: Put a hand behind an ear and lean forward.>
Does it project an image of applying my knowledge and experience with an open mind?
I am artistically challenged. I cannot draw a picture worth anything, but I do know how to draw symbols—Chinese word symbols. Let me draw it and see if it makes sense.

• This is an ear. 耳

• This is the number 1. 一

• 士; This symbol represents a person; not just a casual person, but a learned person, who sets high goals for himself, who feels the responsibility to the society, who takes life as a never ending endeavor of learning. The concept of such a person is universal in all Confucian cultures. By Confucian cultures, I include Taiwanese, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean cultures. Such a person is well respected, is what every parent wants his or her children to be or strive to become. This is a very significant person, and yet he humbly hides underneath a large ear.

Doesn’t it conjure up an image of one person applying his knowledge and experience while keeping his ego and his pre-mature judgments at bay, and listening with all ears?

• This is the number 10. 十

• This is the symbol for eye rotated 90 degrees. It says two eyes plus your mind’s eye. 目

• This is the number 1 again. It means one, completely and undivided.

• This is the word for heart or mind. 心

聽; Put together, it means a learned person who puts his undivided attention to listen with his ears, to watch with his eyes, and to observe with his mind’s eye while keeping his ego and prejudice in check.

This is how the word “listen” is written in Chinese and in Japanese.
Ladies and gentlemen, do you think this picture is a pretty good summary of the ingredients of emphatic listening?

Mr. Toastmaster.
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聽 Listen
聞 Smell, Hear; <== 耳 Ear; 門 Door
e.g. 聞笛,
e.g. 春眠不覺曉，處處聞啼鳥